Redneck joke

FromA Mother With Love

Dear Child, Iam writing this slowbecause I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that mostaccidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won'tbe ableto send you theaddress,as the last family that lived heretook the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't haveto change theiraddress. This place is real nice. It even hasa washing machine. I'm not sure if it workstoo well though. Last week I puta load in, pulled the chain,and haven't seen them since. The weather isn'ttoo bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three daysand the second time for four days. The coat you wanted meto send you, your Uncle Steve said it wouldbe a littletoo heavyto send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them offand put them in the pockets. We gotanother bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worriedbecause ittook him two hoursto get meand Shelby out. Your sister hada baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you'reanaunt oran uncle. If the baby isa girl, your sister is goingto name itafter me, she's goingto call it Mom. Uncle Pete fell ina whiskey vat last week. Some man triedto pull him out but he fought them offand drowned. We had him crematedand he burned for three days. Three of your friends went offa bridge ina pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the windowand swamto safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drownedbecause they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more newsat this time. Nothing much has happened. PS, I was goingto send you some money but the envelope wasalready sealed.